Negotiation Skills For Parents: Get Positive Results at Meetings

Sometimes it becomes necessary to request a meeting to resolve an issue. Meetings can be requested by a telephone call, but the call should be followed by a letter of confirmation. A meeting may be necessary to resolve a conflict that is complex or that involves a request for services that may be expensive or time consuming for a school to provide.

There are certain steps that you should take to prepare for the meeting process. The more prepared you are going into the meeting, the better your chance of leaving the meeting with the resolution you want.

Communicate with Experts to Seek Support for Your Position

An expert is someone who has specialized education and experience in a specific area. Experts often have a license or certificate or other credentials to provide professional services. Experts can include, but are not limited to, physicians, psychologists, educators, speech therapists, occupational therapists, and physical therapists.

Having expert or professional support for your position will greatly increase your chance of a successful outcome at any meeting. During the meeting, you should refer to documents from experts or professionals that support your position.

If possible, have the expert or professional participate in the meeting. It is much easier for a school to ignore a document than it is to ignore a person sitting in the meeting.

You can ask the school to pay for this expert if you are requesting an independent educational evaluation (IEE) of your child. You can ask your school to pay for an IEE if you disagree with an evaluation the school conducted of your child.

The school must either agree to pay for the IEE or request an impartial due process hearing to show that its evaluation was appropriate. If you want to pursue an IEE at the school's expense, it is best to reach agreement with your school about the qualifications of the evaluator, what tests will be used, and who will pay prior to scheduling the IEE. You can also get an IEE at your own expense at any time.

Many experts and professionals are busy and cannot come to your meeting. Explore whether the person can participate in the meeting using a conference telephone. This would limit the amount of time that the individual has to set aside to assist you. If your expert or professional can assist you in this manner, make sure to set up a time and place for the meeting that is convenient to this person and make sure that there is a conference telephone at the meeting. Determine who will place the telephone call prior to the meeting.

Legal Standards

In order to effectively advocate for services for your child, you must be familiar with the law and standards which are in effect that cover your issue. The law does not require your school to provide your child with the best possible education or to maximize your child's educational potential in school. Your child's IEP must provide your child with an education that provides more than minimal benefit. This usually means that your child is making reasonable progress towards the agreed upon goals and objectives in one year.

Be careful to advocate for services to which your child is entitled under the law and for which you have the expert or professional support. Be sure to use language that is compatible with the law and avoid using terms describing your emotions, such as "I feel that," or "I want this." Instead, use language such as "it is necessary for my child to have physical therapy because...," or "the evaluation supports the need for occupational therapy for my child because..."

The legal standards used in special education are not the same as the standards used in other disciplines such as psychology, medicine, and related therapies. Because of the different standards, disagreements between parents and schools can arise when medical or mental health professionals recommend services for a child in the school setting. These services can include psychotherapy, counseling, occupational therapy, physical therapy and other types of services.

Frequently a family's first contact with these services is through their doctor or medical/mental health specialist who prescribes the service based on a medical model of necessity. This model focuses on all domains of a child's functioning and development and provides services based on a model of recovery or maximizing rehabilitation potential. These services can be prescribed for needs that are beyond what is necessary to address the adverse effect of a child's disability in school.

In education, related services are also provided to children, but the provision is based on educational necessity, which focuses on skills and functioning necessary for the child to benefit from his education. All domains of the child's functioning are not required to be addressed by the school. Often, parents will expect the school to comply with recommendations of medical/mental health providers with regard to eligibility, frequency, and duration of service. Sometimes, the level of service recommended by the medical provider exceeds what the school would be responsible for providing.

In order to be able to successfully negotiate for appropriate services for your child, you must determine with the medical/mental health professional what level of service is necessary in the school setting. If possible, any prescriptions written for a related service should specify that the frequency and duration of service is being recommended for the school setting, and is based on educational needs. If you cannot determine what legal standard applies to your situation, you should seek the assistance of an advocate or other professional who can provide you with this information.

Legal Standards for Special Education Services
Service	Standard
Special Education	Specially designed instruction that meets your child's needs and provides more than minimal educational benefit.
Related Services	Services your child needs to benefit from special education, such as transportation and speech/language, physical and occupational therapies.
Medical/Mental Health Services	What your child needs to restore healthy physical or mental functioning and to reach his maximum rehabilitation potential. (Schools are not required to provide this level of service unless necessary to benefit from education.)

Before the Meeting

Prior to any meeting, you should identify the persons with authority to resolve your dispute and request that they attend the meeting. Clearly identify the issue(s) and gather as many facts about your problem as possible. Be sure to seek expert support for your position.

Explain clearly to the school what you think would resolve your concerns. You may be asking to review your child's IEP because the goals are not appropriate, or you may be asking that a service be added to the IEP to address unmet needs. Come to the meeting prepared with one or more possible resolutions to your concerns.

Request written notice from the school about its position on the issue. If school personnel refuse to do something that you have asked them to do, or if the school is proposing to do something with which you disagree, ask the school to provide written notice of its reasons for the action or lack of action. This notice, which is required by the law, should clearly explain the basis for the school's action or inaction.

At the Meeting

Take a prepared outline or notes to the meeting. The outline or notes can help you remember the issues and cover all topics for discussion. Remember to discuss current issues and not to dwell on mistakes of the past. Dwelling on the past can inhibit the team's ability to focus on ways to resolve the current dispute, can waste time, and can create an uncomfortable environment.

Try not to start conversations with yes-or-no questions. For example, if your child needs more support for transition, do not begin by asking for an aide. Ask the team what can be done to provide support for your child during transitions from one activity to another. Allow the conversation to develop, including multiple ideas about possible solutions to your concern. Yes-or-no questions limit options particularly when the response to your request is no. You are left with an answer but not a solution.

If you are requesting that the school change your child's IEP or write a new IEP, you can prepare your own draft goals, objectives, and services to take to the meeting. This can be helpful in guiding the team process to your desired outcome, and can save time at the meeting that would otherwise be used to draft the IEP. It is acceptable for the school to come to the meeting with a prepared draft IEP as long as there is open discussion about the draft, participation in the IEP process by all team members including the parent, and the ability to change and modify the draft as necessary. Remember that you have the ability to make changes to the draft IEP even if it is presented to you in typed format.

All meetings should be documented in some way. Decide prior to the meeting whether to audiotape the meeting or to take a friend or advocate as support. If making an audiotape of a meeting will create an uncomfortable situation for the participants, then you may choose to take a friend to the meeting instead. People can be less forthcoming while being taped because they are afraid that the tape may be used against them at a later time.

One way to document a meeting without taping it is to have a friend or advocate for support at meetings. This person can take notes so that you can focus on discussing the issues at the meeting. The friend or advocate can also serve as a witness to discussions that occurred at the meeting and can provide emotional support in a setting where you are discussing emotionally charged issues.

It is normal to feel emotional during these meetings. After all, it is your child who is the topic of conversation and you want the best for your child. Emotional outbursts can make team members uncomfortable. If necessary, take breaks to keep your control. All discussion should occur in a courteous manner without emotional outbursts.

However, you must remember to be reasonable in your requests for services for your child. Negotiate for the things to which your child is entitled under the law, and for which you have supporting data (e.g. evaluations, medical/psychological recommendations, progress notes) if you hope to be successful in the process.

After the Meeting

If agreement is reached at the meeting make sure that there is written documentation of the agreement. If the agreement is for services for your child, make sure that the services are written on the IEP. Any document can be attached as part of the IEP if the team agrees to attach it. Make sure that any attachments include the signatures of the team members and date of agreement. If full agreement is not reached at the meeting, make a list of the next steps to take and who is responsible for them. Create a timeline for the completion of the meeting process. Remember that some issues take more than one meeting to resolve. Do not sign an IEP unless you agree with it. The school cannot refuse to serve your child because you do not sign the IEP, unless it is your child's first IEP.

Remember to thank people for their participation in the process and for their efforts in serving your child. This can be done in person or with a thank you note or card. A thank you note or card demonstrates your appreciation and support for the work the school is doing with your child, even when things may be somewhat tense.

Know When Your Team is in Trouble - And What to do About It

The follow table lists troubleshooting ideas for what to do when your team is in trouble during the negotiation process.

Know When Your Team is in Trouble - And What to do About It
Problem	Solution
No one has spoken your child's name in thirty minutes.	Remember that your goal is to advocate successfully for your child. If the team gets off track, try to bring the focus back on your child by specifically discussing the unique needs of your child. It can be helpful to use "team" language such as "we need to determine what supports will help my child," instead of "I want an aide for my child."
A tape recorder is the table centerpiece.	While parents and schools are allowed to tape record meetings, the use of a tape recorder can mean that the parent and school are not working well together and that there is a lack of trust. The introduction of a tape recorder at a meeting can create tension and may send a negative message to other team members that you don't trust them. There are non-threatening reasons for taping a meeting such as for a spouse who cannot attend a meeting or for a parent who has learning difficulties. If you want to tape record a meeting, call the school and let them know. It is helpful if you tell them why you want to record the meeting.
Team members begin to compare your child in a negative way to other children in school.	If this happens, try to bring the focus back to your child. All decisions in special education are based on the unique needs of your child. If some team members believe that your child interferes with the learning of others, ask the team to discuss options for strategies and services to address the concern.
Team members are looking at their watches.	If team members are looking at their watches they are not focusing on the issues to resolve. It may be helpful to end the meeting and reschedule when everyone has enough time to commit to resolving your issues. Try to schedule the next meeting while everyone is still present. Remember that it is not always possible to resolve your issues at one meeting. If you know ahead of time that you have complicated issues to resolve, call the school and ask that the meeting be scheduled with sufficient time.
Someone refers to the union rules.	Frequently educators are members of unions. Sometimes an educator might think that you are asking her to perform a function or job that violates her union rules. This can occur when a teacher or aide is asked to perform a job that she doesn't usually perform such as toileting or simple healthcare procedures, such as checking blood glucose levels for children with diabetes. This can also occur if you are asking a school employee to work during a time that she doesn't usually work such as before or after school or during lunch or if you are asking an employee to get training that is held outside of school hours. This is best addressed by remembering that your child is entitled to services that are necessary for her to benefit from her education. If an educator refuses to provide a necessary service, you should request that your school find other options to provide the service.
The budget or money in general is mentioned.	A lack of money or financial hardship is never a reason why a school can deny your child a necessary educational service. However, there is nothing that prevents the team from looking for other sources of funding for services if that funding is available and the parent agrees to using it. Sometimes children need assistive technology (e.g. an augmentative communication device) that is expensive. While the school is responsible for making sure your child has a recommended assistive technology device, the team can look to other sources of funding for the device such as Medicaid and private insurance. Parents cannot be required to use private insurance or Medicaid to fund a device.
Someone is stuck in the past, talking about failures and disappointments.	This is one of the biggest mistakes parents and schools make that prevents the team from making progress in serving the child. Talking about past mistakes can be appropriate if the information is helpful in avoiding additional mistakes. However, the team should stay focused as much as possible on the present and what can be done to serve the child today.
Unannounced people show up (e.g. the school's attorney comes to the meeting).	While there is nothing that prevents this from happening, it can make people uncomfortable when someone unexpected shows up at the meeting. Both parents and schools should advise each other about who is coming to a meeting. If you plan to bring an advocate, expert, or attorney to a meeting, you should contact the school before the meeting to let them know.
The location of the meeting to discuss placement is the same as the school's desired placement for your child.	It is generally up to the school where a meeting will be held. Usually, meetings are held at the school where the child is currently attending. If there is conflict between you and the school regarding building placement for your child, ask for the meeting to be held in a neutral location.

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